The perspective of a Xtian Girl was fellow bloggers major traffic drive here is what he wrote

Do you really wanna be this guy?
*She cooks, she cleans, and she’s a Black
woman who actually enjoys giving brain.
Hallelujah! From the looks of it, you’ve found a

winner.
Then again, it’s never smart to judge a book by
its cover (even if she has the ability to make an
entire Sprite can disappear in her mouth).
On the surface she may seem like girlfriend or
even wifey material; but don’t go jumping the

gun just yet. If she’s one of those self-righteous
types, you’d better think twice before emptying
your savings account for a wedding ring (she’ll
pawn it after the divorce is finalized anyway).
Having all the virtue in the world doesn’t mean
she’s healthy for you.
Remember, Satan used to be one of the good
guys (that went south real quick—literally).
To all my brethren out there looking for a good
wholesome woman, answer this question: “do

you really want to marry a church girl?” It’ll cost
a piece of your soul (and a larger piece of your
wallet). When she’s angry, she’ll threaten to
burn you with hot chicken grease. When she
catches the Holy Ghost in church, she’ll flail
around like she’s in a mosh pit. On Saturday,
she’ll call you a trifling Negro. On Sunday, she’ll
call you a heathen and beat you over the head
with her Bible. It’s the type of behavior that
belongs in a Tyler Perry movie; or better yet, the
psyche ward.
God help any man brave enough to marry the
daughter of a preacher. The last time you agreed
to have dinner with her family, all hell broke
loose. You forgot to pray over your food and her
mother nearly flew over the dinner table to stop
you from biting into that chicken wing (she’s
had reservations about you ever since). And let’s
not forget about your father-in–law: before
giving his life to Christ, he was a hustler and a
pimp. At your wedding, he threated to bust a cap
in your ass if you didn’t do right by his daughter.
The next day, he preached a sermon about peace
and forgiveness; he even summoned you during
the alter call. All that criticism and passive
aggressive behavior would make any black man
go completely nuts.
In theory, the divorce rate among Christians
should be lower than any other group. After all,
the Bible provides specific instructions on how to
make marriage last. Here’s where it all goes
wrong: quite often, Christian couples fall into
traps set by their own relatives and church
family. In other words, the people at your
wedding are often the ones who help seal the
deal on your divorce. For example, gossip floats
through church like the Holy Ghost itself. All
people talk, but church people whisper and
collect dirt on one another; that’s why it’s hard
to keep them out of your business.
Guys, if you marry into a Christian family, you’d
better be prepared for constant probing into your
marriage. It happened to my father—he’s now
remarried. Catch my drift? If you’re a black man
searching for companionship, always take the
path of least resistance (here’s a hint, it’s paved
with white women). I’m kidding. However, be
mindful of the type of black woman you choose.
If she’s sassy, you might wanna keep your
medicine cabinet stocked with Advil or some
other mind-numbing drug (I hear cocaine helps
also).However, if she respects her pastor more
than she respects you, the relationship is
doomed to fail.
In Titus 2:5, Christian women are instructed to
“be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, and
obedient to their husbands.” Ephesians 5:22
says: “Wives, submit yourselves unto your own
husbands, as unto the lord.” Despite
admonishment from the Bible, it appears that
modern women aren’t buying into these
concepts. It’s a new day and age—the gender
gap is steadily closing and women are taking full
advantage of new economic opportunity. With
that in mind, the way in which Christian women
approach marriage has completely changed. It
would be a cold day in hell before an established
black woman fully submits to her husband,
especially if he’s bringing in less money.
The role of the husband in the Bible starts with
leadership. Scripture makes it very clear that a
husband must be a leader of his home, a
provider for his family, and have healthy control
of his life. There’s nothing wrong with these
ideals. However, women who aren’t led by God,
and aren’t properly trained by their pastor, often
interpret scripture from a secular point of view.
In the eyes of many Christian black women, a
man isn’t worth being respected, or obeyed,
unless he provides the finer things life has to
offer; the necessities come second. Many young
black women simply aren’t mature in their walk
with Christ. They tend to value material objects,
instead of finding the value in their own lives and
relationships.
Oftentimes, Christian people merge their secular
desires with their religious beliefs. For instance,
in the Old Testament, God turns water into wine.
An unseasoned Christian might take that to
mean that alcoholism is okay in the eyes of the
creator. That’s obviously incorrect. If scripture
isn’t digested properly, it can be used for selfish
and ungodly reasons. That’s a recipe for marital
discomfort, particularly if the man cannot provide
according to his wife’s satisfaction. Black men,
particularly, endure daily challenges imposed by
outside forces of oppression. A stressful
household, and empty pockets, only make
matters worse.
The Black Hat column is written by Southern
California based Cory A. Haywood who is also a
certified personal fitness trainer. Contact him
via: coryhaywood@ymail.com and/or visit
his websites: www.coryhaywood.webs.com
or CoryTheWriter.blogspot.com .
Cory A. Haywood